Frequently, lately, I feel like a cartoon character. I stand over my sink and eat a very messy bagel, the crumbs falling into the drain. I can’t help but laugh at how easily its structure gives, suddenly my hands are covered in cream cheese and tomato and studs of sesame seeds. And so there I am in this square of sunlight in my kitchen on a Sunday and I am laughing, and the bagel is everywhere, and I really can’t believe that happiness can come so easily.
I was out to brunch for my birthday at a restaurant where they make everything in-house, even the butter. The building had these big factory windows with bar seating up against them, and the windows were open, so the bar seating looked directly onto the street with no partition. A man with a golden retriever was standing on the street side reaching into the restaurant side to grab food from a plate on the bar to give to his dog. I watched them love each other and it made me happy. Then the bagel thing happened.
I had probably the best meal of my life on Saturday night. My friend and I went to a restaurant with a cheeky name in an area of the city that is often foggy, that has a lot of different trees from a lot of different places in the world. It’s a hilly, jumbled neighborhood with constricted streets and houses that tumble over and over each other. In the summer there are international blossoms on the international trees and the air smells like sugar. At the restaurant I put this piece of duck in my mouth and suddenly I could not think of anything to say to my friend.
I like splitting a bottle of wine with someone, I’ve been doing that. Winking at each other from across the table and running it all down, taking about all of it, the hourglass bottle draining, thread of sand down down, down until we both have roses in our cheeks. Uber home.
And tomorrow is the only thing that’s coming next. I think thats pretty amazing.
Go listen to Clairo’s new album!! It’s called Charm.